Monday, December 5, 2011

The Night Before Christmas - A MW3 Joint

This is my second time taking the classic Clement Moore poem, The Night Before Christmas, and putting a Modern Warfare slant to it.

It's an homage to a poem that always makes me smile with true joy at the innocence of spirit Christmas brings to my life once a year.


Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the net
All the gamers were resting, especially the vet.
But come the next morning that would surely change
With a myriad of close kills and some at long range.

The kiddies they slept with multi-kill dreams
Not knowing how easily they soon would be creamed.
While the vets laid down peacefully, with nary a fit
Just hoping the greenies all wouldn't rage quit.

The morning came quickly with anticipation and hope
And the greenies felt certain it was going to be dope.
For Santa had nestled, just under the tree
A brand new copy of  Modern Warfare 3.

He ripped off the wrapping and rushed to the tray
His fingers all twitching, so anxious to play.
What was IW thinking, I'm not a noob,
They gave me a  default class with a toob.

Stuffed from Doritos with double XP galore
He was certain in an hour he'd be rank 44.
And be armed to the teeth with so many guns
Killing all the "vets" was going to be fun.

"Now UMP! now, Semtex! now, SMAW and Scar!
Just watch out punks when I get my ACR!
From that rooftop window or the top of the hill!
I'll mow you all down with my elite freaking skill!"

As the game finished loading, he jumped in a room
A team with 4 rooks and a girl named Boom-boom.
All itching to play the new Team Defender
While plotting the kill he was going to render.

Once in the game he sprints up a street.
To be greeted as quickly by a grenade at his feet.
His body now flying 20 feet in the sky
Annoyed to have been the first one to die.

Two seconds later with toob ready to fire
Unaware how thing's are suddenly dire.
A vet snuck behind him and with only a knife
One slice takes away his short second life.

"It's just not fair, I can't even move!
Just give me a second and I'll get into a groove!"
But everywhere he goes, he dies in a flash
Oh and thirteen later, he decides to dash.

Back at the menu, he simply shakes his head
Frustrated as hell to have always been dead.
"Screw Team Defender, I'll rock some KC
At the top of the board, that's where I'll be."

Yet game after game and map after map
The vets beat him down with slap after slap.
By gun or by air, it just doesn't matter
They all end his life in a bloody splatter.

Alone in his chair and too stunned think
Appalled at how low his KD can sink.
He came to realize one thing is true
He'd picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Now laughing aloud, he decides to have fun.
Then launches the game and chooses his gun.
And quickly discovers a brand new thrill
There's more to the game than getting a kill.

Support streaks start flying, and tags disappear
And he finally experiences some holiday cheer.
When the game is finished he can't believe what he gets
A kind, simple message from one of the vets.

A twinkle in his eye, to the vet it felt good
Finding a greenie who plays like you should.
And he thought to himself as he turned out the light
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

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