Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The Night Before Christmas -- Black Ops 2 Style

It's nearly Christmas (wow the year flew by) and it's time for another Call of Duty spin on the classic Clement Moore poem, The Night Before Christmas.

Enjoy and have a safe and merry Christmas.


‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the net
The COD vets were smiling from the kills they would get
Headsets were charged with a battery to spare
Knowing new greenies soon would be there

The kiddies were dreaming of streaks in their heads
When they should have been filled with thoughts of dread
Support streaks were easy, a total breeze
Of course they’ll still come with absolute ease

With nary a word, he bounds down the stair
Knowing for certain his copy was there
He tears it wide open, his eyes all a light
So ready to dominate his first firefight

His console whirred, the screen popped to life
Maybe he’ll run with just a gun and a knife
That’s all he keeps seeing from vids on YouTube
So, it must be that simple, for he is no noob

Who needs combat training, I played the first one
I’ll show those old vets this time how it’s done
He made his first pick ten but stopped it at nine
So certain his skill would make it all fine

“On semtex! On flashbang! On old hand grenade!”
With so many choices, he had it made
And he couldn’t believe it, like a gift from heaven
They let him start out with a freaking MP7

He whips out his pistol and flies off in a dash
Getting ready to throw out that very first flash
When over the building and out of the sky
A ‘nade hit his chest, he was the first die

No worries he thinks as he changes his class
I’ll just equip Ghost and camp off my ass
Sit in this corner and aim at this door
And wait for the bodies to litter the floor

“Enemy UAV is up!” The announcer would say
Yet flat on his belly he continued to lay
Right up until he was shot through the wall
So certain that he would slaughter them all

So sick of being killed by some guy who’s named Tom
He switches from Deathmatch and loads up some Dom
“I’ll show you what’s up, I’m gonna sprint straight to B
No way you vets will get the better of me!”

He rounds the brick wall with B just in sight
When suddenly time slows, he’s not moving quite right
The concussion wave strikes him and holds him in place               
As the vet calmly shoots him, two times in the face

The same thing keeps happening, over and over
Until finally he dies by a puppy named Rover
The game finally ends, his jaw drops to the floor
Only 300 points was his pitiful score

The vet he leans back and cracks open a beer
His morning complete and full of good cheer
5600 points for the game was not bad
And boy was that greenie sure as hell mad

The Christmas Noob simply doesn’t get how it’s done
For playing Call of Duty is meant to be fun
Laughing out loud and knowing he’s right
“Merry Christmas to all, and to vets a good night!”

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Streaks are back in BO2

As any avid player knows, BO2 will introduce the Quad Rotor and CLAW into the Call of Duty universe.

We now know they will be streaks in MP.

Unlocked how? Dunno
User controlled? Dunno
Sound fun? You bet.

And what is the one in the middle? A 2025 airstrike perhaps?

The more we learn... the more we speculate.

Selective ROF is in BO2

This makes me happy.

No idea how many selections you get but just having it is awesome.

Yet more proof TA listens to their players.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Looks like akimbo will be in Black Ops 2... just sayin'.

Or at least in the campaign... check out the guy going John Woo style behind Mason.

Mixed feelings personally...

... but I really don't want to see it in MP.

Just sayin'

Friday, April 27, 2012

Sports and Call of Duty... It's Not What You Think.

As I watched the 2012 NFL Draft yesterday, a thought solidified in my head. I'm one of those people that love the off season in sports. I almost love it more than the regular season... and definitely more than the playoffs. You see, the off season is about reflection... anticipation... a time when something new meets something old and leaves you with a sense of hope the next year can be better.

Well... the Call of Duty off season officially begins May 1st.

On that day, Black Ops II will make it's world reveal and the speculation of its contents will begin in earnest. What needs to be added... what needs to be dropped... what fans hope to see... all will be bantered about the internet. Sounds a lot like sports fans, huh? How you hope the changes your team makes in the off season will lead to a championship... or at least a better team to watch.

Call of Duty's draft day is 11/13/12 and Black Ops II is the first pick. Players get the game in their hands and like a first round pick in the NFL, you hope it will be good. That it will live up to the hype and give your franchise that shot in the arm it needs. Let's face it, MW3 was the lockout shortened NBA season of Call of Duty. It was nice to have, felt awkward, and ultimately missed the mark. Never before has an off season been so welcomed. In the case of my Portland Trailblazers, a wasted season has a chance to quickly turn around on Draft Day 2012.

The same is true of Call of Duty.

How successful the 2012 Call of Duty season is with the launch of Black Ops II remains to be seen but the off season leading up to it should be fun. It will have hype and hope, success and failure, and if we're lucky, a spark of magic.

And you didn't think COD was like sports, huh?

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Just Sayin' -- is this an Elite glitch?

Some guy has got colored names for his classes...

Hacker or glitcher?

Just sayin'.