Wednesday, December 22, 2010

'Twas the Night Before Christmas - A Black Ops Tale

Christmas is alomost here... and for vet gamers. that means one thing...

Loads and loads of free kills.

So, I thought I would write my own verison of the Night Before Christmas with a Black Ops twist...

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the net
Black Ops vets were smiling from the kills they would get
Controllers were set by the console with care
Knowing new players soon would be there

The kiddies were thinking of kills in their heads
Not knowing how quickly they soon would be dead
MW2 was easy, they could always tube
So of course Black Ops will be friendly to noobs

Morning had come and so anxious to see
That copy of Black Ops under the tree
As the wrapping is torn, he can barely sit still
Anxious to post that first clip of his skill

The disc it gleamed when set in the tray
Controllers charged and ready to play
While he plopped on the couch to join the fight
And the tv it hummed, coursing with light

The game finished loading, it wouldn’t be long
Because combat training would make him strong
He couldn’t decide the first weapon he’d try
Or what attachments he wanted to buy
Now Uzi! Now AK! Now Famas, Galil!
On noob tube! On red dot! On Weapons of steel!
With so many options from which to choose
There was no way in hell he was going to loose

He moves about quickly, all through the map
Mowing down friend-bots, Ratta-tap-tap-tap
“This game is easy!” he says out loud
So smug and so sure and surprisingly proud

Two minutes later, he’s in a lobby
Surrounded by prestigers and some dude named Robby
Their emblems are slick, their scores are high
But he knows he’ll get them, they’re waiting to die

Once into Deathmatch, he started to run
With lightweight, grenade and MP5 gun
He rounded a corner, anxious to kill
But fell over dead by a shot from a hill

I died too quickly, that isn’t fair
The game just started, he couldn’t be there
Yet two steps in on his second life
He’s stabbed in the back with a ballistic knife

Run and gun is not working, unsure what to do
Because there’s no default weapon with a tube
He smiles to himself and changes his class
He’ll find a dark corner and camp off his ass

Sitting all snug, his aim at the door
Thinking of corpses littering the floor
When through the window and what should appear
Grenades and semtex full of holiday cheer

When the game was over, he sat there all stunned
Going 20-0, that would have been fun
Instead his score was so pitifully low
All he did was die, everywhere he’d go

While the vet sat smiling, his score through the roof
So happy the kiddies ignored the truth
Modern Warfare was easy. Black Ops is tight.
“Merry Christmas to all, and to vets a good night!”
Merry Christmas!

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