The Night Before Christmas -- Black Ops 2 Style

It's nearly Christmas (wow the year flew by) and it's time for another Call of Duty spin on the classic Clement Moore poem, The Night Before Christmas.

Enjoy and have a safe and merry Christmas.

Cheers,
RAN

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the net

The COD vets were smiling from the kills they would get

Headsets were charged with a battery to spare

Knowing new greenies soon would be there

The kiddies were dreaming of streaks in their heads

When they should have been filled with thoughts of dread

Support streaks were easy, a total breeze

Of course they’ll still come with absolute ease

With nary a word, he bounds down the stair

Knowing for certain his copy was there

He tears it wide open, his eyes all a light

So ready to dominate his first firefight

His console whirred, the screen popped to life

Maybe he’ll run with just a gun and a knife

That’s all he keeps seeing from vids on YouTube

So, it must be that simple, for he is no noob

Who needs combat training, I played the first one

I’ll show those old vets this time how it’s done

He made his first pick ten but stopped it at nine

So certain his skill would make it all fine

“On semtex! On flashbang! On old hand grenade!”

With so many choices, he had it made

And he couldn’t believe it, like a gift from heaven

They let him start out with a freaking MP7

He whips out his pistol and flies off in a dash

Getting ready to throw out that very first flash

When over the building and out of the sky

A ‘nade hit his chest, he was the first die

No worries he thinks as he changes his class

I’ll just equip Ghost and camp off my ass

Sit in this corner and aim at this door

And wait for the bodies to litter the floor

“Enemy UAV is up!” The announcer would say

Yet flat on his belly he continued to lay

Right up until he was shot through the wall

So certain that he would slaughter them all

So sick of being killed by some guy who’s named Tom

He switches from Deathmatch and loads up some Dom

“I’ll show you what’s up, I’m gonna sprint straight to B

No way you vets will get the better of me!”

He rounds the brick wall with B just in sight

When suddenly time slows, he’s not moving quite right

The concussion wave strikes him and holds him in place               

As the vet calmly shoots him, two times in the face

The same thing keeps happening, over and over

Until finally he dies by a puppy named Rover

The game finally ends, his jaw drops to the floor

Only 300 points was his pitiful score

The vet he leans back and cracks open a beer

His morning complete and full of good cheer

5600 points for the game was not bad

And boy was that greenie sure as hell mad

The Christmas Noob simply doesn’t get how it’s done

For playing Call of Duty is meant to be fun

Laughing out loud and knowing he’s right

“Merry Christmas to all, and to vets a good night!”

The Night Before Christmas - A MW3 Joint

This is my second time taking the classic Clement Moore poem, The Night Before Christmas, and putting a Modern Warfare slant to it.

It's an homage to a poem that always makes me smile with true joy at the innocence of spirit Christmas brings to my life once a year.

Enjoy.

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the net

All the gamers were resting, especially the vet.

But come the next morning that would surely change

With a myriad of close kills and some at long range.

The kiddies they slept with multi-kill dreams

Not knowing how easily they soon would be creamed.

While the vets laid down peacefully, with nary a fit

Just hoping the greenies all wouldn't rage quit.

The morning came quickly with anticipation and hope

And the greenies felt certain it was going to be dope.

For Santa had nestled, just under the tree

A brand new copy of  Modern Warfare 3.

He ripped off the wrapping and rushed to the tray

His fingers all twitching, so anxious to play.

What was IW thinking, I'm not a noob,

They gave me a  default class with a toob.

Stuffed from Doritos with double XP galore

He was certain in an hour he'd be rank 44.

And be armed to the teeth with so many guns

Killing all the "vets" was going to be fun.

"Now UMP! now, Semtex! now, SMAW and Scar!

Just watch out punks when I get my ACR!

From that rooftop window or the top of the hill!

I'll mow you all down with my elite freaking skill!"

As the game finished loading, he jumped in a room

A team with 4 rooks and a girl named Boom-boom.

All itching to play the new Team Defender

While plotting the kill he was going to render.

Once in the game he sprints up a street.

To be greeted as quickly by a grenade at his feet.

His body now flying 20 feet in the sky

Annoyed to have been the first one to die.

Two seconds later with toob ready to fire

Unaware how thing's are suddenly dire.

A vet snuck behind him and with only a knife

One slice takes away his short second life.

"It's just not fair, I can't even move!

Just give me a second and I'll get into a groove!"

But everywhere he goes, he dies in a flash

Oh and thirteen later, he decides to dash.

Back at the menu, he simply shakes his head

Frustrated as hell to have always been dead.

"Screw Team Defender, I'll rock some KC

At the top of the board, that's where I'll be."

Yet game after game and map after map

The vets beat him down with slap after slap.

By gun or by air, it just doesn't matter

They all end his life in a bloody splatter.

Alone in his chair and too stunned think

Appalled at how low his KD can sink.

He came to realize one thing is true

He'd picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Now laughing aloud, he decides to have fun.

Then launches the game and chooses his gun.

And quickly discovers a brand new thrill

There's more to the game than getting a kill.

Support streaks start flying, and tags disappear

And he finally experiences some holiday cheer.

When the game is finished he can't believe what he gets

A kind, simple message from one of the vets.

A twinkle in his eye, to the vet it felt good

Finding a greenie who plays like you should.

And he thought to himself as he turned out the light

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"